Updates from July, 2017 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • blueribbonfair 8:12 pm on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Cee's Weekly Share your World, , , Looking forwards to, my favorite things, my world, road signs, sports and athletic, , Thankful,   

    A Piece of my World 

    I always want to do this: Share Your World    Something always comes up and I get sidetracked.  Crossing my fingers. If you can work it in, go over to Cee Photography


    List some of your favorites types of teas.

    If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be?

    What are a couple of things could people do for you on a really bad day that would really help you?

    Irregardless of your physical fitness, coordination or agility: If you could be an athlete what would you do?   Remember this is SYW, dreaming is always allowed.


    Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

    So weekly there are questions you answer. (links above.) This is a beautiful photography blog and she also has great photos and photography help as well as this challenge and several photo challenges. Check it out.

    1. Favorite Teas: I do not like tea. I will drink black tea cold with a LOT of ice. When I have anxiety I will always try tension tamer or such. I do not really like them, but at least I can drink them without tossing down the sink. Most are so bitter and sugar in tea actually causes me nauseous.  I force myself for health reasons but have to eat something with many with each taste. Coffee for me. 

    2.  What Road Sign am I: -From the image of street signs on the original blog post: I                 Think “GRAVEL” stood out.  I checked out “gravel” on Wiki. and was amazed at all               The different types and ” personalities” gravel can fit into. I also can be rugged and             swing between feeling small -large and in between, but still am a rock as my center.

    3. ON a bad day when I am more “that small pebble of gravel” What “Helps” make my            day better? Bring me books or buy me music from groups I love. Fix me a treat and           or take me somewhere I love or to something I like happening in my area. (Classic car       show? Hint.

    4. What Athlete would you be? This is the easiest to answer: Gymnastics or Ice skating.

    5.  Optional- thankful and Looking Forward to next week? Thankful my day of lab tests           and Dr’s yesterday is over with!   Next Week getting ready for my youngest son’s                  birthday on Saturday for his birthday fun on Sunday.

    There you go, folks.  It’s just Me.
















  • blueribbonfair 12:08 am on July 23, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Eminence Missouri, , Rocky Falls, , swimming, swimming hole, , Waterfalls,   

    Beautiful Rocky Falls 

    We took a small weekend trip to a spot in my state I have wanted to visit for awhile and never got to do:



    rocky falls missouri swimming area

    The water was so glassy clear you could see the small fish below your feet. nice swimming experience. We swam out to the Falls and let the water stream over us. This is about 15 miles approximately from Eminence Missouri. Beautiful small western and ghost type town.


  • blueribbonfair 1:03 am on July 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , covert abuse, , emotional abuse, fear, insidious, , PTSD, scared to death, spiritual abuse, verbal abuse   

    Insidious Strikes Again 


    sad-woman abuse depression blog dark

    Things were going smooth. I was happy, learning going places with my daughter on day trips and more. I did not see My very dangerous covert Narcissus husband was simmering. I have learned to deal with him. And because I am separated from him I have gained so much of my life back. 2 weeks ago we took an overnight trip-my adult daughter and I. We did not tell him because he will sabotage. My daughter did call him after we got a motel. I did not think or recognize, but tiny subtle insidious maneuvers from this man who caused chronic PTSD in me. So he started hoovering. Calling and messing up my goals for the day. Showing up with any excuse and playing my kids to divide us.  Taking away promises as he has done for years. I am surprised I survived. Yesterday he was so mad I was happy and he was mocking my daughter with insidious cruel “Jokes” which made her uncomfortable. She laughs to cover not liking it. I asked him to leave and he triggered my issues by saying things to punish me. Not straightforward though; It is emotional abuse. Just digs to my daughter like he will not help me with things he promises in his passive aggressive insidious way which had been hidden for maybe 4 months. When he left I was so panicked and traumatized that I could not concentrate on anything. My mind was gone and today my heart is full of the fear-which if you never had it, you cannot imagine how you feel when you think the fear will kill you and not because you fear a heart attack, but actually die from how bad the fear is they have projected. It is never physical. I was scared to listen to music, watch movies today; I am having a hard time even doing this and other computer things today. But I thought I would get it out on here for therapy. I regret letting him destroy me and my kids as long as he did, and I never knew why he acted the way he did until I lost my mind. But we have kids and he is still pitting them against me and wanting to kill me slowly piece by piece after he can only stand being “nice and cooperative for so long” The trip set him off this time even though it is only me that figured it out. Even though I feel like I will die of fear from his despising of me and tearing me up to punish me for making himself and his empty shell of no love and hatred despise me for being too happy and not letting him control me.    Thank you for sticking with me. Learn more about what fear can do: Not often, but it can happen.

    Extreme Fear Can Kill You

    • Rupali 6:04 am on July 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I feel sorry for you but I am glad you share and spoke about it. In my own experience I think you would feel better. Take care.

    • kkessler833 2:56 pm on July 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      How awful! I hope you will be able to manage in spite of the difficulties this man gives you.

    • Christy B 9:12 pm on July 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Do not give up control to him… being fearful gives him control.. therapy may help you find coping mechanisms.. I was in therapy… hugs xx

    • da-AL 2:02 am on July 23, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      many thanks for your honesty – we can all relate – so glad you’re working it out

      • blueribbonfair 4:47 pm on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. Yes we are not alone even though you feel like it at times. Sad it is still going on for 2 many people.

    • Holistic Wayfarer 5:21 pm on July 23, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      So good you’re in therapy. This is serious, to say the least. This will probably facilitate the therapy, if you’re not familiar: The Tapping Solution for Pain Relief by Nick Ortner. It’s for all issues, incl emotional and psychological. I got mine from the library.


    • Artist Inese Poga 5:20 pm on July 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      We live to be stronger than fear. I’ve been through so many terrible things, but have learnt avoiding and excluding disturbing anxiety attacks in the most natural way: doing art. I just literally put myself to paper and canvas when crying or being totally off and get immersed in painting until I have forgotten what was the cause of the terrible stuff. I’m writing about my struggles in my other blog https://inesepogalifeschool.com/

      • blueribbonfair 5:53 pm on July 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. I learned a lot through this attack so there was a silver lining this time. I never could see through him like I am doing now and see exactly the cycle as it progresses to trying to get me to fight back. He has ben nigh perfect love bombing me after silent treatmentfor a couple day. Today he said a cutting thing to tear my heart. I knew exctly what he was doing and he is headed to the angry jerk and today his wanting to chip me down was used subtly. I never could recognize the small pieces he uses on me standing out like this. I ignored him and came home pumping my fist in the air because he did not get me emotionally. Thanks for your encouragement and ideas.

    • Ipuna Black 5:24 pm on August 26, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      What gorgeous pictures! I’m a sucker for waterfalls.

    • Albatz Travel Adventures 12:18 am on August 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I have a very good friend who is also going through PTSD from an abusive ex-husband – I’m not much for understanding the psychology of this but one of the things I’ve been trying to do is get her and her daughter out and about, to replace the bad times with good times. And I let her rant when she has to – hopefully it all helps.

      • blueribbonfair 8:08 pm on August 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you for taking the time to let me know I am not alone and supporting your friend.

    • NikeChillemi 4:54 pm on September 2, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      The title intrigued me. My husband’s family is insane and a few other family members are toxic. Litterally, it killed my husband way too young. I burried him last December. He kept trying to show them what a normal peaceful life was and they used it against him. I would suggest, since your daughter is an adult, that you make plans again, say for a weekend, and NOT tell your husband anything. Turn your phones off for the weekend. Get some rest and relaxation together.

      • blueribbonfair 12:01 am on September 13, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        She lives with him so he knows she is gone unfortunately. The way he abused us when she was a kid really set her back. Her first job was at 24. He spoiled her when she was little and turned abusive with her about 12-13 when she no longer was a little perfect princess. She is working on getting her first place soon. Thanks Nike.

    • Shauna 5:34 am on September 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply


  • blueribbonfair 1:30 am on July 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , fireworks, , ,   

    July 4th 

    Sorry I missed everyone here and happy wishes for the 4th. Hope it was a blast full of color and memories. 

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